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 %RECOGNIZE DIFFERENCE DISINTEGRATIVE PEOPLE RELATE 961106

     We  may recognize the difference between  integrative
people   and   relationships  on  the   one   hand,    and
disintegrative   people  and relationships  on  the  other
hand,   by   noting which foci of attention  play  central
roles  in each:

Integrative                   Disintegrative

COOPERATION                   COMPETITION
CONFLICT RESOLUTION           CONFLICT MAINTENANCE
LIBERATION                    ISSUES OF CONTROL
HEALING                       AVOIDANCE
GIVING GIFTS OF SECURITY      ACHIEVING SECURITY FOR SELF
ENJOYING SAFE VULNERABILITY   AVOIDING VULNERABILITY
ENJOYING SAFE INTIMACY        AVOIDING INTIMACY
EXPANDING ALTERNATIVES        REDUCING ALTERNATIVES
PROMOTING HONESTY             PROMOTING CONFORMITY
PROMOTING CREATIVITY          MAINTAINING TRADITIONS
ACKNOWLEDGING AMBIGUITY       ELIMINATING AMBIGUITY
ACKNOWLEDGING PARADOXES       POLARIZING DICHOTOMIES
RELAXATION                    CONTENTION
HUMILITY                      SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
PROBABILITIES                 CERTAINTIES
SERVICE                       DOMINANCE
LEADERSHIP                    DOMINANCE
EXAMPLES                      PRESCRIPTIONS
POSSIBILITIES                 REQUIREMENTS
ALTERNATIVES                  MANDATES
FORGIVENESS                   CONDEMNATIONS
RENEWAL                       TRADITIONS
GROWTH                        PERFECTION
IMPROVEMENT                   IMPERFECTIONS
LEARNING                      FAILURES

     By their foci and fruits we may know them.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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