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    %RESPOND INTEGRITY SEXUAL DESIRES THOUGHTS ACTS 960420

     How are we  to know how to respond with  personal and
communal integrity  to our own  and  other people's sexual
thoughts, desires, dreams, visions,  behaviors, etc?  This
is  especially  difficult to know in a society where there
are few people who know how to be fully honest about their
sexuality.

     In many societies and religious communities there are
many  people  who  are  not  interested  in  personal  and
communal   integrity.    They  show  little  concern   for
recognizing,   naming,   describing,    talking  about  or
promoting the growth of personal and  communal  integrity.
Their  preoccupations are with other concerns and agendas.
Such  people  often regard most aspects  of  actual  human
sexuality  as  evil.    They discourage  open  and  honest
discussions of personal sexual: thoughts, desires, dreams,
visions, behaviors, honesty, integrity, connectedness---or
about learning from mistakes having to do with sexuality.

     People  who  are   preoccupied  with  forbidding most
aspects of actual human sexuality as evil, are disposed to
deal with  human sexuality on theoretical grounds;  rather
than in terms of existential descriptions of  actual human
sexuality as experienced by participants in the discourse.

     By limiting  discourse  to  theoretical propositions,
commandments,  laws, prohibitions, prescriptions, formulas
and  judgements---people  seek  to  avoid  the  risks   of
personal  vulnerability in regards to their own sexuality.
They seek to keep secret  their  own  sexual  experiences,
mistakes,  frustrations, joys,  and  pleasures.  They seek
to remain personally invulnerable---while pretending to be
very  knowledgeable  about  the  difference  between  good
people and  evil people,  good thoughts and evil thoughts,
good desires and  evil  desires,   etc.     They have been
disobedient.  They have eaten many tempting fruits off the
forbidden tree of  the knowledge of good and evil---and so
believe  that they know it all,  and feel that  they  have
found favor in the eyes of the God of Love who said not to
eat such alienative fruits  which undermine the words  and
works of Love.   Such people turn the words  of  Love into
words of Law; pass many alienative judgements,  and impose
many disintegrative condemnations and excommunications.

     In  the  presence of such people it is  difficult  to
know  how to respond with personal and communal  integrity
to our own and other people's sexual  thoughts,   desires,
dreams,   visions,   behaviors,  etc?   This is especially
difficult  to know in the absence of truly  secure  people
who know how to be fully honest  about  their sexuality in
intimate relationships of mutual respect and trust---where
they are free to be vulnerable; rather than defensive.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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