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 %TRADITIONAL MISTAKES PATTERNS ASSUMPTIONS BELIEFS+960418
   %ATTITUDES IDEALS VALUES BEHAVIOR DISINTEGRATIVE+960418
   %VIOLENCE ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT ISOLATION EVIL 960418

     People  who  persistently  experience  disintegrative
consequences  need to ask themselves what it is that leads
to those consequences?   It does little good to blame  all
consequences upon other people and/or circumstances beyond
other people's control.   It is more productive for people
to ask  what  they  might change which would  be likely to
lead to  more integrative consequences.   To be a fruitful
focus for their attention the focus must be something:

     1.  Which   they  can  change---in  spite  of   other
people's opposition.

     2.  For which there are cogent reasons  for believing
that  it   will  lead  to   integration---rather  than  to
disintegration.

     3.  Which entails  some  real  change---not  just  an
appearance or superficial change.

     4.  Which entails  honesty  and demands courage---not
dishonesty and fear.

     5.  Which   will   likely   lead    to   forgiveness,
reconciliation, conflict resolution, and cooperation---not
to anger, frustration,  revenge,  conflict escalation, and
exclusivity.

     6.  Which will  help  people  to transcend boundaries
through  dialogue---not  lead  people  to draw  boundaries
which inhibit and confuse dialogue.

     7.  Increase the  number  of  viable  alternatives to
choose   among---not   reduce   the   number   of   viable
alternatives to choose among.

     8.  Clarifies the natures of elements, situations and
relationships through accurate  descriptions---rather than
confuses them.

     9.  Reveals new truths in public forums---rather than
discourages  the  discussion  of  embarrassing  truths  in
public forms.

     10.  Helps people to transcend  misleading questions,
assumptions   and    commitments---rather  than  engenders
renewed commitments  to focusing attention upon misleading
questions, assumptions and commitments.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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