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 %EVALUATION DYSFUNCTIONAL IDEALS VALUES GOALS FAIL 951130

     When  many  people  persistently fail to live  up  to
their ideals  and values---they often blame themselves and
each other for failing to try hard enough,  for failing to
be firmly enough dedicated to their ideals and values.  In
light of the persistent failures by so many people  it may
be  wise  to examine the pattern of  ideals,   values  and
goals---and  to consider the possibility that the  pattern
of  ideals,  values and goals  may  be  disintegrative  in
nature; rather than integrative in nature.

     Traditional ideals and values pertaining to  intimate
relationships  and  marriage are far more  often  affirmed
verbally than by example.  People are persistently failing
to  live  up  to traditional ideals and  values  regarding
traditional  traditional exclusive intimate  relationships
and   exclusive   marriages---and   persistently   blaming
themselves and each other for failures.

     We  need to articulate integrative ideals and  values
which  are  more likely to lead us into  healthy  intimate
relationships---rather  than blame each other for  failing
to  lead healthy lives in terms of  disintegrative  ideals
and values.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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