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 %SELECTIVE MEMORY RISKS FORGET LEARN MISTAKES FAIL 951122

     Our  memories  tend  to  be selective.    We  do  not
remember everything.   We cannot remember everything.   We
must  forget  some  things.   It makes  a  great  deal  of
different in what way we are selective in what we remember
and  what  we forget.    We do not usually decide what  to
remember  and what  to   forget---but   our   assumptions,
beliefs,   convictions,   attitudes,  ideals,  values  and
principles all play  important roles in setting the  stage
for  what  we  remember  and what we forget.    With  some
exceptions   we  tend  to  remember  what  we  regard   as
important,   and  we  tend  to forget what  we  regard  as
unimportant.

     Importance  is not the only factor in remembrance and
forgetfulness.    Levels  of  pain,   anger,   resentment,
frustration,  fear and other emotions play important roles
in  our remembrance and forgetfulness.   If we are in  the
habit of nursing resentments, and if our community  is  in
the  habit  of  nursing  resentments---we  are  likely  to
remember ancient injustices against us and our  ancestors;
and  nurse  them  as  justification  for  future  acts  of
violence which will keep alive our conflicts, pain, anger,
resentments, frustrations  and fears.    We would no doubt
become  more healthy  people  and  communities were we  to
resolve our conflicts,  forgive the past,   and live for a
more integrative future.

     On the other hand, we all too often forget much which
we need to remember in order to avoid making mistakes over
and over.   We do not like to remember our mistakes and to
learn from our mistakes.   Thus we are prone to forget our
mistakes  and so do not learn from our  mistakes---only to
repeat them over at great cost to ourselves, our families,
and our children.

     We need to work to set the stage for remembering what
needs to be remembered,  and for forgetting what needs  to
be forgotten.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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