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   %RELATIONSHIP DECIDE CONTRACT AGREE BEING WITHIN+950825
   %EXECUTIVE ORDER COMMAND INTEND EXPECT WORK WILL+950825
     %EXPERIENCE INSTRUCTION SEEK ADVICE ASSISTANCE 950825

     All   people  begin  life without  the experience and
instruction needed to participate well in meaningful human
relationships;   and  so  are often  unaware  of  all  the
essential  aspects  to  being meaningfully involved  in  a
significant human relationships.

     In  the  beginning of human relationships  objective:
intentions, decisions,  agreements,   contracts,   orders,
commandments, and expectations all play significant roles;
but  they  are not enough by  themselves,  no  matter  how
"good" they may be objective.

     Healthy  human relationships do not exist and persist
because  of the particular aspects suggested above.    All
such  objective  aspects may be present in regards to  the
building of a house which may be called "home"; but in the
absence of  workers  who reflexively seek  to cooperate in
building the objective structure, it will not be built.

     The building of  a  healthy relationship is much more
complicated  and more difficult than is the building of  a
house.   The  building of a house in many is an  objective
process which can in many regards be managed according  to
plan;  and  be  completed as planned.  The building  of  a
healthy  human relationship  is  essentially  a  reflexive
process  with  some objective aspects;  but  it cannot  be
managed according to an objective plan.  Neither can it be
completed  and  then exist and persist without  additional
work reflexive cooperation.

     A new  house  can exist and persist without much work
for  many  years without great difficulties.     A   human
relationship cannot exist and persist in a healthy way for
even a few weeks in the absence of cooperative efforts  on
the part of the participants in the relationship.  A house
can  exist as a static thing and deteriorate  only  slowly
due to neglect and no maintenance.   A  human relationship
deteriorates  rapidly  due to neglect and  no  cooperative
maintenance;   regardless  of  initial  good   intentions,
decisions,  agreements,  contracts,  orders, commandments,
and expectations.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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