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     %ROMANTIC ADDICT MANIPULATE LOVE RELATION EVIL+950614
      %DISHONEST TECHNIQUE DILEMMA PROBLEM SOLUTION 950614

     The  romantic addict has a dilemma,  not a  technical
problem.

     The   meaning   and  satisfaction  of   an   intimate
relationship depends upon respecting the other person as a
person of integrity whose free choices are valued and  who
chooses freely to be intimate with self.  Any manipulation
coercion,  or control of such a person diminishes how much
one  can  respect the violated person, and  diminishes the
probability   of   the  person  freely  choosing   to   be
meaningfully intimate with self.

     In  light of the above considerations any attempt  to
treat an intimate relationship as a technical problem---is
bound  to diminish the meaning and satisfaction which  may
flow  from  the attempt.   However,  the  romantic  addict
cannot  honestly  deal with the dilemma as the dilemma  it
is;  and  is  likely to try to convert the  dilemma into a
technical  problem  through some  dishonest  technique  or
another.   Such dishonesty leads to personal and  communal
disintegration, not to meaningful satisfaction.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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