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    %UNHEALTHY FALLING LOVE EXCITE ENJOY LETTING GO 950611

     Both healthy falling in love and unhealthy falling in
love generate excitement and so generate the temptation to
"do   it  again"   in  an  unhealthy  way  to  "get   more
excitement".

     Overcoming  alienation,  ignorance,  misunderstanding
and fears of  intimacy  are  fulfilling  in  healthy ways;
engendering  excitement.    Such  excitement  tempts  many
people   to  seek  to  generate  such  excitement  through
attempts   to   manipulate  and  to  control  people   and
relationships.    Such  attempts usually  entail  implicit
deception  and denials of truths,  if not explicit denials
and overt dishonesty.

     While  trying to generate the excitement of  "falling
in love"  in manipulative ways---addictive people seek  to
escape true intimacy and all its implications of openness,
honesty,   and  security  known  as  the  freedom  to   be
vulnerable.

     It is important for people of all ages to know how to
recognize  the  differences between truly falling in love,
and trying to generate the excitement of "falling in love"
in manipulative ways.   The differences have to  do  with:
honesty,  openness, vulnerability, mutuality,  letting go,
detachment,  gentleness;   and  with  preoccupations  with
control,  manipulations,  discipline, rules,  regulations,
attachment, coercion and violence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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