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  %ADDICT CODEPENDENT COLLUDER CONVENTIONAL DILEMMA 950509

     Addicts,   their codependent supporters and colluders
all have confessional dilemmas:  "To whom should they make
confessions when they fail to be faithful?"

     Such  people are confused about what it means  to  be
faithful,    and   so they are confused about to  whom  to
make confession when they fail to be faithful.

     One cannot be faithful if one is not true to what one
believes  to  be true,  right,   righteous,   integrative,
wholesome, coherent, healthy, etc.

     Addicts,  their codependent supporters and  colluders
are  playing  games  of  mutual  self  deception---wherein
truths  are  treated  as lies,  and lies  are  treated  as
truths;   and  it is never entirely clear what  is  really
true,   and  what is really not true.    Confusion is  the
order  of the day.  Concealment of and deception regarding
the  rules  of  the games of mutual  self  deception---are
required   under the  rules of the games---so confusion is
the order of the day.

     To  whom should an addict,  codependent supporter  or
colluder confess when they:

     1.  Fail to believe a lie which really is a lie?
     2.  Fail to deny a truth which really is a truth?
     3.  Believe a lie which they suspect is a lie?
     4.  Believe a truth which they suspect is true?
     5.  Recognize the rules of their collusive games?
     6.  Articulate the rules of their collusive games?
     7.  Repress truths which they suspect are true?
     8.  Confuse differences between truths and lies?
     9.  Fear the lies which they have believed?
    10.  Fear the truths which they have not believed?
    11.  Begin to recognize how confused they have been?
    12.  Begin to be unhappy with bitter fruits they eat?
    13.  Find they cannot trust the people they admire?
    14.  Find they trust the people who are confused?
    15.  Discover they are terrified by honesty?
    16.  Discover they are terrified by true intimacy?
    17.  Recognize disintegrative excommunication's evil?
    18.  Recognize their own alienation from each other?
    19.  Realize that they cannot control each other?
    20.  Yearn for personal and communal integrity?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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