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  %REFLEXIVE JUDGEMENT CONDEMNATION SELF OTHER GOOD+950428
     %SELF CONFIDENCE ARROGANCE HUMILITY GENTLENESS+950428
%CONTROL DISCIPLINE RESPONSIBILITY BOUNDARIES LIMIT 950428

     There are people who excel in self confidence when it
comes  to making judgements about self and others.    They
are not  inhibited by  any desire to avoid being biased in
situations   which  entail  making  reflexive  judgements.
They  are  often sure that they should be and  can  be  in
control---when  others   who  are   wiser   recognize  the
impossibility of anybody being in control; and acknowledge
the  futility  of  believing  that  control  is  possible,
desirable, or in keeping with God's Will.

     Real control (to the extent that it ever exists)  has
to  do  with  objective  manipulation  and  management  of
impersonal objects---rather than  with reflexive behaviors
and  relationships.   People who attempt to be controllers
of reflexive   behaviors   and   relationships---are  thus
participants  in collusive games of mutual self  deception
and cause much grief and tragic suffering in how they play
their futile games.

     "Controllers" are rarely troubled by:

     1.  Humility,
     2.  Desires to transcend reflexive biases,
     3.  Desires to promote open and honest dialogue,
     4.  Doubts about their own infallibility,
     5.  Their own ignorance about other people,
     6.  The complexity of real human relationships,
     7.  The consequences of judgmentalism,
     8.  The consequences of legalism,
     9.  The consequences of condemnations, or
    10.  The consequences of excommunications.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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