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   %IMPORTANT SYSTEMIC ABUSE VULNERABILITY ACCIDENT 950201

     It  is  important to recognize,  name,  describe  and
honestly talk about the difference between:

     1.  Random unfortunate accidents in  which people get
hurt  and after which apologies,  comfort and  support are
offered; and  in contrast,

     2.  Systemic  patterns in which dominant people  take
advantage  of  and  abuse  people  who  are:   hurt,   not
apologized to,  comforted or supported---because they  are
vulnerable, weak and/or poor.

     In  the instances of the second kind common  outcomes
include: alienation,  distrust, resentment, defensiveness,
anger, revenge---personal and communal disintegration.

     In  the  instances of the first kind while  there  is
hurt and pain the outcomes include: reconciliation, trust,
appreciation,    intimacy,   thankfulness---personal   and
communal integration.

     What  is  important  is  the  overall  pattern,   not
isolated occasions of hurt and pain.

     The  "logic"  which occasions the overall pattern  is
important.

     Alienation and violence flow from an  overall "logic"
which leads some dominant people to  be regular abusers of
the vulnerability of submissive people.

     Personal  and communal integrity flow from an overall
logic   which  leads  all  people  to  freely  offer   and
thankfully  accept  gracious gifts of the  freedom  to  be
safely vulnerable---and to offer apologies,   nurture  and
support  to  people  who are the  victims  of  unfortunate
accidents which involve hurt and pain.

     It  is  important to recognize,  name,  describe  and
honestly  talk  about  the difference  between  the  above
patterns.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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