This is http://www.essayz.com/a9501211.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
  %ASPIRE TRANSCEND OUR CONFLICTS IDEAL VALUES GOOD 950121


     We   can   do  well and be well---when  we  transcend
our   desires   to engage  in,    maintain and  nurse  our
conflicts   in   tragic  efforts   to  affirm  our  selves
through prevailing in  win/lose conflicts.

     We  often play tragic collusive games of mutual  self
deception---when   we  engage in what appear  to   us   to
be  win/lose   conflicts---for   they are  at  fundamental
levels all lose/lose conflicts in the long term.

     We will do well if we tend to think that if  somebody
loses in a conflict then everybody loses in the  conflict;
that for  anybody to win in a conflict, everybody needs to
win  in the conflict.    Yet;  we need to acknowledge that
life  is  not always simple  and so boundaries   are   not
always sharp and simple---especially case by case.   Often
it   is  the overall pattern  which  is   more   important
than   the individual case.   We most enjoy both  personal
and  communal integrity---when  overall  everybody   gains
in   conflict resolutions.

     We  need  to strive for self affirmations  which  are
integrative and so seek  to resolve conflicts  in mutually
satisfying   ways---for  in those ways we are most  likely
to  enjoy both personal and communal integrity with others
in integrative communities.

     Our integrative self affirmations need not entail our
denial of  other  people's  integrative self affirmations.
In   inclusive  communities  wherein  people  enjoy   both
personal  and  communal integrity there  is  no  need  for
people to deny each other's  integrative self affirmations
as part of  their  own integrative self affirmation---such
conflict  is recognized as non-essential.   The dilemma is
to  seek,  find  and recognize the ways,   the truths  and
the lives   through  which personal and communal integrity
may be enjoyed by all.

     So   long  as  we  seek  our  own  satisfaction   and
fulfillment  at  the  expense  of  personal  and  communal
integrity---we will be bound to continue  to  disintegrate
through  lose/lose  conflicts  which we  do  not  seek  to
transform and resolve through win/win conflict resolution.
We  need to transcend the assumption/conviction that  such
conflicts  can  be win/lose conflicts with the  advantages
being  ours,   and  the  disadvantages  falling  upon  our
adversaries.

     To  enjoy personal and communal integrity we need  to
believe and   work to  help  our adversaries recognize and
believe---that   our  mutual  conflicts  can  be  resolved
openly,   honestly,   fairly  and  justly  to  our  mutual
advantage  in  the  long term.    In the absence  of  such
recognitions,    belief and work---we are bound to  engage
in, maintain  and  nurse our conflicts  in  tragic efforts
to   affirm  our  selves  through  winning   in   win/lose
conflicts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================