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   %UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DEMAND HONESTY OPEN DIALOGUE+940529
%GENEROSITY SACRIFICE GIVING SECURE SAFE VULNERABLE 940529

Unconditional   love   offers the gift of  true   security
known as the freedom to be safely  vulnerable  in open and
honest dialogue---no matter what the past has been.

Unconditional  love invites open and honest  dialogue; and
is  disappointed  with  continued  alienation,   distrust,
deception  and  playing of collusive games of mutual  self
deception.

    The  unconditional  lover is not  drawn  into  playing
(and held as a player in)  collusive  games of mutual self
deception.

    The  unconditional lover will not obey the demands  of
an   addictive  other---and instead  insists upon honesty;
not accepting dishonesty as normal and natural.

    The  unconditional lover continues to be true to  self
and   others even when others are playing collusive  games
of mutual self  deception  as  addicts  and/or codependent
supporters of addicts.

    True  love  insists  on truth  as  the  foundation  of
personal  and  communal  integrity.   True love  does  not
accept  deceptive manipulations and mis-representations of
the truth as respectable tools by which to achieve success
and  salvation.    True lovers see through  the  collusive
games  of  mutual  self deception of  addictive  religious
leaders---who carefully select their fundamentals so as to
set themselves up as superior to people from whom they are
alienated and whom they fear as enemies.

    True  lovers do not engage in defensive  manipulations
of: truths, perceptions, assumptions, attitudes,  beliefs,
convictions, commitments, and loyalties.

    Naive  lovers  may  fall into  the  traps  of  leading
addictive people who invite  them  to sacrifice themselves
unconditionally  and dishonestly in efforts to rescue poor
addictive  people  from their  increasingly  dysfunctional
patterns  of  behavior.    The addicts are  always  ready,
willing  and able to present the naive lovers with  higher
levels    of   sacrificial   challenge---to    test    how
unconditional their  commitment  to "love"  is.   The true
lover, however,   is   not  willing  to  sacrifice honesty
and personal integrity   in  support of collusive games of
mutual self deception.   Such sacrifice  does  not lead to
reconciliation,   recovery,   or healing.   Such sacrifice
does not merit respect under any conditions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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