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  %INTEGRATE GENTLE TRANSCEND COLLUDE ADDICT DEPEND 940516

     It   is  important  to  affirm  people's   attitudes,
beliefs,  decisions  and actions which transcend in gentle
ways our collusions, addictions and codependencies.

     Collusions,   addictions and codependencies  are  not
transcended   by  echoing  the  disintegrative  attitudes,
beliefs,   decisions  and  actions  of  people   who   are
imprisoned  by  them.    Echoes of violence,  frustration,
anger,   depression,  confusion,  manipulation,   control,
exclusivity,    rejection   and  excommunication  are  not
responsive,    responsible  or  integrative.    They   are
disintegrative  reactions.    Saying they are inspired  by
God, holy scriptures or moral injunctions does no good.

     Dishonesty is transcended by gentle honesty.

     Violence is transcended by gentle love.

     Rejection is transcended by honest listening.

     Excommunication is transcended by open dialogue.

     Frustration is transcended by offering affection.

     Anger is transcended by forgiveness and acceptance.

     Depression is transcended by accepting holy visions.

     Confusion is transcended by affectionate honesty.

     Manipulative control is transcended by liberations.

     Exclusivity is transcended through inclusive love.

     Evil is melted by warm and gentle love, not by evil.

     Dishonesty is transcended by gentle truths and love.

     It   is  important  to  affirm  people's   attitudes,
beliefs,  decisions  and actions which transcend in gentle
ways our collusions, addictions and codependencies.

     Too   often  we react to such transcendence in   ways
designed   to  defend  our  collusions,   addictions   and
codependencies.    We  need  to  work  to  transcend  such
defensive  reactions.    We need to work to heal ourselves
and heal the alienative relationships which have grown  up
between   us.      Reacting  in alienative  ways  to  each
other's  tragic  mistakes will not promote healing or  any
true kind of integrity.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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