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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CLAIM CLUTCH CLING OWN CONTROL FIXATE COMPULSIVE+940404 %LOVE PATERNAL ADDICT ROMANCE SEX GRAB STICK HOLD+940404 %COMMAND RULE DOMINATE RELEASE LET-GO LIBERATE JOY 940404 We are not free when we cling to each other in desperate attempts to own and control some person we value as a means to fix our fears and loneliness. We are not powerful or full of meaning when we fear to let-go of those nearest and dearest to us---when we fear their liberation and empowerment. We cannot fix what is wrong with us or with each other by compulsively fixating with false love upon each other in addictive romance, grabbing for sexual pleasure, sticking to each other, or frantically holding onto each other. We cannot fix what is wrong with the world by fixating upon, clinging to and imposing upon self and others our collections of rules, regulations, commandments, and judgmental dispositions---which we claim were given to us by our god whom we have conceived to be like a supreme addictive/codependent parent---and so worthy of "great" fear, "respect" and "love" so as to justify our endlessly playing collusive games of mutual self deception with each other in our cooperative hell. We need often to: let-go, release, liberate, set free, stop clutching, stop dominating, stop fixating, stop ruling, stop commanding, stop manipulating, and otherwise stop trying to be in control of all that we fear. We too often are defensive as a technique for achieving security as invulnerability. We need to stop being defensive and to start giving/receiving security as the true freedom to be safely vulnerable in open and honest intimate relationships. We need to stop perceiving each other as separated objective threats to our security---and to start seeing each other as potentially friendly personal extensions of the one reality of whom we are also extensions. We need to stop seeing other persons as drains who are likely to claim and drain away from us all that we want to clutch---and instead see other persons as radiant integrative beings from whom the one of whom we are all extensions seeks to radiate true love, compassion and integrity. Only when we change our perspective and approach to each other will we find joy in relating to each other. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================