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  %CLAIM CLUTCH CLING OWN CONTROL FIXATE COMPULSIVE+940404
  %LOVE PATERNAL ADDICT ROMANCE SEX GRAB STICK HOLD+940404
 %COMMAND RULE DOMINATE RELEASE LET-GO LIBERATE JOY 940404

    We  are  not  free when we  cling  to  each  other  in
desperate attempts to own and control some person we value
as a means to fix our fears and loneliness.

    We are not powerful or full of meaning when we fear to
let-go of those nearest and dearest to  us---when  we fear
their liberation and empowerment.

    We cannot fix what is wrong with us or with each other
by  compulsively fixating with false love upon  each other
in  addictive  romance,   grabbing  for  sexual  pleasure,
sticking  to each other,  or frantically holding onto each
other.

    We cannot fix what is wrong with the world by fixating
upon,  clinging  to  and imposing upon self and others our
collections  of  rules,   regulations, commandments,   and
judgmental dispositions---which  we claim were given to us
by  our god whom we have conceived to  be like  a  supreme
addictive/codependent  parent---and  so worthy  of "great"
fear,  "respect" and "love" so as to justify our endlessly
playing collusive games of mutual self deception with each
other in our cooperative hell.

    We need often to: let-go, release, liberate, set free,
stop  clutching,   stop dominating,  stop fixating,   stop
ruling, stop commanding,  stop manipulating, and otherwise
stop trying to be in control of all that we fear.

    We   too  often  are  defensive  as  a  technique  for
achieving  security  as  invulnerability.  We need to stop
being defensive and to  start giving/receiving security as
the  true  freedom  to be safely vulnerable  in  open  and
honest intimate relationships.

    We  need  to stop perceiving each other  as  separated
objective  threats to our security---and to  start  seeing
each  other as potentially friendly personal extensions of
the one reality of whom we are also extensions.

    We  need to stop seeing other persons as   drains  who
are  likely  to claim and drain away from us all  that  we
want to clutch---and instead see  other persons as radiant
integrative  beings  from  whom the one of whom we are all
extensions  seeks  to radiate true love,   compassion  and
integrity.

    Only  when  we change our perspective and approach  to
each other will we find joy in relating to each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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