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    %HEALTHY EXPRESSION SEX NATURE RATIONAL CONTROL+931009
     %EXPLICIT PURPOSE GOAL ORIENT OBJECT REFLEXIVE+931009
     %DENY TRUTH PRETEND COLLUDE ADDICT CODEPENDENT 931009

     Our  healthiest  expressions of our sexual natures in
intimate sexual relationships are not:

     1.  Essentially rational in character.

     2.  Exclusively rational in character.

     3.  Fully under the control of our rationality.

     4.  Fully under the control of others' expectations.

     5.  Expressions of systematic plans/procedures.

     6.  Explicit purpose-oriented or goal-oriented.

     7.  Public in character.

     8.  Objective in nature for possible validation.

     9.  Fully under the control of any person or group.

    10.  Free of reflexive considerations.

     Many of our difficulties with our sexuality flow from
assumptions,  attitudes,  beliefs and convictions which in
some way deny the existential realities to which the above
statements point.

     When   we  in  various  ways  deny  the   existential
realities to which the above statements point we undermine
the  possibilities of expressing our sexuality in the most
integrative and healthy ways which we can imagine.

     When  we  pass  judgements upon  our  own  and  other
people's  expressions of our and their sexuality in  terms
of  criteria which deny the existential realities to which
the  above  statements  point---we  generate   rejections,
excommunications,  alienation, estrangement,  frustration,
anger,   resentment,   desires for revenge,   and  violent
reactions of many forms.

     To be healthy and to enjoy both personal and communal
integrity   we   need  to  acknowledge  and   accept   the
existential realities to which the above statements point;
and  avoid the  acceptance of the assumptions,  attitudes,
beliefs  and  convictions  which  in  some  way  deny  the
existential realities to which the above statements point.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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