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   %RESPOND INABILITY CONTROL SEX DESIRES FANTASIES+930723
  %THOUGHTS IMAGES FEEL EMOTIONS BEHAVIORS INTIMATE 930723

     How  shall  we respond to our inability to have  full
control  of  our  sexual desires,   fantasies,   thoughts,
feelings, and behaviors?

     Shall our responses  center around judgments,  guilt,
shame,   resignation,  legalisms,  trying harder,  denial,
pretense,    rejections,     excommunications, alienation,
estrangement, and misunderstandings?

     Shall  our  responses center around open  and  honest
dialogue, descriptions,   seeking  personal  and  communal
integrity,  personal acceptance,   forgiveness,   charity,
prayer, humility, and gentleness?

     Shall  we acknowledge distinctions  between  thinking
about the possibility of engaging in some behavior on  the
one hand, and on the other hand actually  engaging in that
behavior; or shall we treat the two as equivalent?

     Shall we be  so  repressive  as  to inhibit openness,
honesty, creativity, and true intimacy?

     Shall we  strive  for conformal perfection, or for an
honest community in  which personal and communal integrity
are valued and honored more than is conformity?

     How we respond to our inability to be in control will
lead  to personal and communal integrity,   or to personal
and communal disintegration.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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