This is http://www.essayz.com/a9305131.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISHONEST COLLUSION SKILL COPE CONFLICT RESOLVE 930513 The child who is abused either passively or actively is prone to grow up with a set of manipulative attitudes trying to control objects as objects and people as objects; trying to be objective in situations where objectivity is inappropriate and dysfunctional. A compulsive preoccupation with objectivity can lead to dishonesty about emotions which are really present, and so to collusions regarding emotional life in general. People who cannot be honest about emotional aspects of life cannot cope effectively with those emotions which cannot be controlled in healthy ways; and so tend to deny emotions' existence, rather than find healthy ways to express and channel emotional energy. They try to set up legalistic and moralistic systems by which to try to control emotions which they cannot admit to having and cannot permit others to have. Trying to control that which one compulsively refuses to admit exists is a very frustrating experience; but the frustration cannot be admitted---how frustrating can it get? Increasingly so without limit until it become evident that respecting and supporting collusions is hell, and that life can improve only when fundamental changes are made in one's own attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs about the importance of emotions, honesty, and personal and communal integrity. These considerations take on great importance when thought is given to how they relate to the wisdom or lack thereof of those people who invent, devise, construct, manage and make political decisions pertaining to nuclear weapons, ICBM missiles, and related weapons of global mass destruction---doing so in the name of peacemaking. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================