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   %DISHONEST COLLUSION SKILL COPE CONFLICT RESOLVE 930513

     The  child who is abused either passively or actively
is prone to  grow up with a  set of manipulative attitudes
trying  to  control  objects  as  objects  and  people  as
objects;   trying  to  be objective  in  situations  where
objectivity   is   inappropriate  and  dysfunctional.    A
compulsive  preoccupation  with  objectivity can  lead  to
dishonesty about emotions which are really present, and so
to collusions regarding emotional life in general.

     People  who cannot be honest about emotional  aspects
of  life cannot cope effectively with those emotions which
cannot be controlled in healthy ways;  and so tend to deny
emotions'   existence,  rather than find healthy  ways  to
express and channel emotional energy.  They  try to set up
legalistic  and  moralistic  systems by which  to  try  to
control  emotions  which they cannot admit to  having  and
cannot permit others to have. Trying to control that which
one  compulsively  refuses  to  admit  exists  is  a  very
frustrating  experience;   but  the frustration  cannot be
admitted---how frustrating can  it get?   Increasingly  so
without limit until  it become evident that respecting and
supporting collusions is hell, and  that  life can improve
only  when  fundamental  changes  are  made in  one's  own
attitudes,  thoughts,  and beliefs about the importance of
emotions, honesty, and personal and communal integrity.

     These  considerations take on great  importance  when
thought is  given to how they relate to the wisdom or lack
thereof  of those people who invent,  devise,   construct,
manage and make political  decisions pertaining to nuclear
weapons, ICBM missiles, and related weapons of global mass
destruction---doing so in the name of peacemaking.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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