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%CONSIDER SEX POSSIBLE WISE DECISION ACTION PREPARE+930321
  %PRIORITY PRINCIPLE CONTEXT GUIDE LEAD LAW ADDICT 930321

     It is exceedingly rare that it is helpful:

     1.  To make a hard and fast  rule  which  people  are
required  to  honor and obey within all  contexts  in  all
times and places.

     2.  For people of one class, culture, heritage, race,
belief  system,   life style,  economic  status,   kind of
education, religion or profession---to unilaterally impose
rules  and regulations  upon  others who are significantly
different from themselves.

     3.  To personally judge,  condemn,  reject, ridicule,
banish,   exclude,   excommunicate,   disfellowship,    or
otherwise  alienate  anybody  for a failure to conform  to
some  rule, regulation,  law,  demand, taboo,  injunction,
demand, or expectation.

     4.  To  try  to  control  human  thoughts,  emotions,
perceptions, desires,  expressions,  intentions,  beliefs,
convictions, expectations, ideals, values, or behaviors.

     5.  To  regard oneself as superior to other people by
virtue of  one's  own ideals and values and how  well  one
perceives  oneself  as living in fulfillment of  one's own
ideals and values.

     6.  To believe that one has reliable knowledge of how
to  tell  the  difference between  good  people  and  evil
people.

     7.  To regard good/evil as an attribute of individual
people  and/or  their  characteristics,   attributes,  and
actions---apart from the personal relationships  of  other
people with them.

     8.  To regard good/evil as an attribute of particular
circumstances,  events,  contexts,  situations or  natural
processes---apart  from how people relate to each other in
response  to  those   particular  circumstances,   events,
contexts, situations or natural processes.

     9.  To  regard  objectivity,   analysis, measurement,
computation,     manipulations,    control,    complexity,
sophistication,  prediction and/or conformity as  signs of
goodness within the context of personal relationships;  or
their  absence  as  signs  of evil within the  context  of
personal relationships.

     10.  To regard any fix, technique, technology, system
or procedure  as being good apart from the nature  of  the
personal  relationships among the people affected by those
who respect,  affirm or otherwise use the fix,  technique,
technology, system or procedure.

     It is often helpful to:

     1.  Focus  attention upon the presence or  absence of
personal  and   communal   integrity   as  inter-dependent
realities.

     2.  Seek to resolve conflicts to the advantage of all
present and potential participants; rather than to work to
assure  greater advantage to some participants as winners,
at the expense of other participants as losers.

     3.  Seek  to  recognize,   identify,   describe   and
openly/honestly  talk  about  the roots  of  our conflicts
within our  ideals and values which are in  conflict  with
each  other,  and  so  are  leading  us   into  tragically
disintegrative efforts to control what we cannot control.

     4.  Focus  attention   upon  patterns  of   dishonest
behaviors  and relationships which are  characteristics of
the collusive  games  of mutual self deception  that   are
played by  addicts  of  all  kinds  with  their supportive
codependents.

     5.  Give and accept gifts of true security understood
as the freedom to enter into honest intimate relationships
and so be vulnerable within safe contexts.

     6.  Clearly  distinguish  between  situations   which
present  us with dilemmas for which there are no technical
solutions;  and  technical problems  for  which  there  is
general  agreement  about (and little conflict over)  what
technical  solution  will  resolve  the  problem  to   the
advantage of the people concerned.

     7.  Regard   "evil"   as  a  characteristic  properly
attributed only to personal relationships where  there are
negative judgements,  condemnations, rejections, ridicule,
excommunications,   banishments,    exclusions, disfellow-
shipments,  or other alienations  of people for a failures
to conform to rules,  regulations, laws, demands,  taboos,
injunctions,  or expectations.

     8.  To disavow seeking perfection of any kind.

     9.  To  disavow  the use  of  deception,  dishonesty,
personal  rejections,  alienation,  excommunication,   and
other forms of personal manipulation for any cause.

     10.  To  love  mercy,  seek justice  and  walk humbly
together in the presence of God.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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