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 %ULTIMATE EXCLUDE IDEAL VALUE ABUSE CORRUPT ADDICT+930320
 %IMPORTANT PRIORITY BALANCE VULNERABLE SECURE LOVE 930320

     To  the extent that any one ideal or value is treated
as being of ultimate importance, to the exclusion of other
balancing  ideals and values;  to that extent the ultimate
ideal or value is made vulnerable to abuse and corruption.

     If honesty is made of ultimate importance   so  every
person is commanded to be honest;  the manipulators who do
so are put in a position to punish any  deception which is
designed to subvert their manipulative violence.

     If  generosity  is made of ultimate importance;  then
addicts  are   put  in  a  favorable  position   to   milk
codependents of all their assets.

     If  meekness  is made of  ultimate  importance;  then
assertive people may demand that good people lay down  and
serve   as  carpets  for  the  arrogant  people  who   are
dishonest.

     If integrity is made of ultimate importance; then the
manipulators  will  equate integrity with  conformity  and
demand conformity.

     If  conformity  is made of ultimate  importance  as a
prerequisite to  personal  acceptance;   then  creativity,
imagination,   spontaneity,  dreaming,   envisioning,  and
authenticity  must   be  repressed  in  the   service   of
conformity.

     If  peace  is  made  of  ultimate  importance;   then
manipulators are in a position to demand submission on the
part  of  those  who  would stand in  the  way  of abusive
manipulations.

     If  balance  is regarded as of  ultimate  importance;
then manipulators are  prone to oppose any affirmation  of
any value which will  stand  in their way:  they will make
manipulative   affirmations   of    a    counter-balancing
complimentary   value,    and  claim  that   the  original
affirmation must yield.

     If  loyalty  is regarded as of  ultimate  importance;
then addicts are sure to demand ultimate  loyalty of their
subjects in dictatorial patterns of behavior.

     When any  ideal or value is regarded as  of  ultimate
importance  to the exclusion of any other balancing  value
or ideal; manipulators find ways to manipulate the meaning
and practical import of the ideal and  value,  so that the
ultimately  important ideal or value becomes a  means/tool
of their manipulative intentions.

     Some  ideals and values are more vulnerable  to abuse
than others;  e.g.,  conformity as an ultimate ideal/value
is more vulnerable to abuse than is balance.    Loyalty as
an ultimate  ideal/value is more vulnerable to abuse  than
is integrity.

     We need to learn how to recognize,  describe and talk
about  the multitude of ways in which important ideals and
values become vulnerable to abuse, when their  importances
are  affirmed in exclusive ways;  and we need to recognize
which ideals and values are more  vulnerable to abuse than
are other ideals and values.  Only with such recognitions,
descriptions, and conversations vibrantly present within a
community  can  the  community as  a  whole  defend itself
against  the  disintegrative  consequences  of  its   most
manipulative   members'    use   and  abuse   of   healthy
affirmations  of  the importance of  various  patterns  of
integrative ideals and values.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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