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%TECHNIQUE SACRIFICE SELF KNOW TRUE OTHER CELEBRATE+930317
   %NEGATIVE ATTENTION ENCOURAGE FORBID PUNISH EVIL+930317
      %PARENT CHILD ADULT DYSFUNCTION ADDICT FAMILY 930317

     If  parents focus upon what is forbidden to children,
give attention to children primarily when children violate
prohibitions, and rarely give attention when children have
been "good";  the children discover/conclude that  to  get
attention they must violate prohibitions.  It is better to
get negative attention than to get no attention at all.

     Parents  in dysfunctional families are so  distracted
by disintegrative consideration  of  their  disintegrative
ideals,  values and goals;  that they have little time  or
energy  for  giving positive attention to  their children.
Faced with  limited time and energy and so the  choice  of
giving positive attention  or  negative attention to their
children;  they  fall  into  the trap of  giving  negative
attention,  and thus encouraging their children to do what
is forbidden in order to get any attention.

     In order  to avoid the trap of  encouraging  negative
behavior  parents need to deal honestly with the fact that
they  have  limited time,  energy  and  possibilities  for
giving  attention  to  the multitude of possible  foci  of
attention.    Disintegrative  ideals,   values  and  goals
distract attention away from integrative possibilities and
undermine  both  personal and communal attention  in  each
generation; and the evil relationships which flow from the
distractions  reverberate unto the seventh  generation  of
descendants.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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