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  %PERCEIVE DEFINE THREAT INTEGRITY COLLUSION TRUTH+930314
   %CONTROL JOY LOVE PLEASURE SALVATION REDEEM TRUE+930314
  %SEEK DESIRE WANT TELL SAY TALK ASK SHOW GET TAKE 930314

     We  cannot  control  our own or other  people's joys,
loves,   pleasures,   salvations,   redemptions,   truths,
seeking,   desires,  wants,  telling,  sayings,   talking,
asking, and showing. When we think and feel that we are in
in full control we deceive ourselves and each other in our
collusive games of mutual self deception.

     We  are  not  just objects which can  meaningfully be
treated  in  exclusively objective ways by  ourselves  and
each   other.    If  we  attempt  to  treat  ourselves  in
exclusively objective ways, then we deceive ourselves into
believing we can be reflexively objective;  an oxymoron if
there ever was one!  That is about as possible as drinking
only completely dry real water.

     We are playing collusive games of self deception when
we  show respect for rules,  regulations,  laws,   taboos,
moral codes,  prohibitions, injunctions, punishments,  and
reward  systems  designed  to control our  own  and  other
people's joys, loves, pleasures,  salvations, redemptions,
truths,   seeking,   desires,  wants,  telling,   sayings,
talking,   asking,  and  showing.   By adopting a  control
mentality we make it very  difficult  for  us to helpfully
influence people's behaviors towards  integrative personal
and communal behaviors.  Attempting to influence people is
quite different from attempting to control people.   It is
important that  we  learn the difference and  respect  the
difference.

     We  may  in  part  control  objects through objective
manipulative procedures.  We cannot control people through
objective manipulative procedures; even when it appears to
us that we are controlling their behaviors.    We purchase
the appearance of our control of them at the  price of our
knowledge of them.   The appearance of our control of them
is a  creation  of our  collusive  games  of  mutual  self
deception.  The appearance is not real outside of us.  The
appearance  is  not an objective reality which is real  to
the people whom we  think we are controlling.   We are not
controlling all of their thoughts, feelings and intentions
towards us; not even when they may feel that we are.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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