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   %REFLEXIVE PERCEPTION OBJECT STATEMENT DISHONEST+930309
  %I-TALK YOU-TALK TRANSACTION ANALYSIS CHILD ADULT 930309

     Many of our communications originate in our reflexive
perceptions, but are expressed in a way which presents our
reflexive perceptions with  a  mask of objectivity.   Such
presentations are  dishonest,   and occasion both personal
and  communal disintegration.   We need to openly own  our
own reflexive perceptions as such through I-talk; avoiding
dishonest projections of  them upon others and/or upon the
universe  and God.   Too often we use you-talk when I-talk
would be more honest.

     It  is not helpful to mask our reflexive  perceptions
as descriptions of the nature of the universe, the will of
God,  moral imperatives,  or as human legislation.   It is
helpful  to  describe our own  experiences,   perceptions,
feelings, desires, fears, hopes and aspirations through I-
talk  in  which  we  report  our  own  responses  to   our
environment.    It  is not helpful to blame anyone for our
responses;  as if anyone could be or should be in  control
of our reflexive responses.

     Our   responses  to  people's  behaviors  are  always
reflexive responses;  because our responses  reflect  upon
us, and upon those to whom we respond.  It is dishonest to
mask  our  personal  responses to  people's  behaviors  as
objective  in  character,   and  to ask that our  personal
responses  to  other people be regarded  as  objective  in
nature.

     It is dishonest to present our reflexive responses as
having  been  caused  in  a  deterministic  way  by  other
people's   behaviors.    Such  presentations   dishonestly
suggest  that  other  people through their  behaviors  can
control  our behavior,  and should be held responsible for
the  behaviors  in  us which they choose to  cause.   Such
presentations deny the reality that we make choices  which
are  more  determinative in how we behave than are any  of
the choices which other people make.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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