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  %SHAME GUILT TOOLS ADDICT CONTROL MANIPULATE EVIL 930225

     Shame  and guilt often are promoted as tools by which
addicts seek to manipulate and control people.  When shame
and  guilt  are  so used and abused,  those  who  seek  to
manipulate  and  control people  with shame and guilt  are
often  more  responsible for evil  consequences  than  are
those people whom they seek to manipulate and control.

     Manipulative  people often promote the development of
feelings of shame and guilt so that shame and guilt can be
used in manipulative attempts to control people.  Such use
is always alienative; and so is evil.

     Manipulative people focus attention upon  symbols  of
shame  and guilt such as a The Scarlet Letter,  derogatory
terms   of  ridicule,   pejorative  terms  and   rejective
judgments. Such alienative symbols become abused means for
manipulation and attempts at control.

     Often the manipulative people who use and abuse shame
and guilt do so in the name of religious doctrines,  moral
principles,  ethical codes,  and legalistic systems.  They
pretend that such use and abuse  will lead to personal and
communal integrity;  when in fact the opposite is the most
likely  consequence of the  use  and abuse  of  shame  and
guilt.    Such   dishonest  pretense  and   arrogance   is
characteristic  of  the collusive  games  of  mutual  self
deception  which addicts and their codependent  supporters
play.

     Shame and guilt cannot be used by people of integrity
to manipulate people who lack integrity  into being people
of integrity.   Personal  and  communal integrity  are not
achieved  through  manipulation  and  attempts  to  be  in
control.  People who use  shame  and guilt in manipulative
ways  in attempts to control  other  people  into  desired
patterns of conformity  cannot themselves  be manipulated,
shamed,  or guilted into being people of integrity working
to promote communities of integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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