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        %INTEGRATIVE RELATIONSHIP PART PERSON FOCUS 921210

     A personal relationship  is  not a fully  integrative
relationship if the focus of the relationship (on the part
of  a participant in the relationship) is exclusively upon
one  part of another participant;  or is exclusive of  one
part    of   another   participant.    Healthy    personal
relationships are relationships between whole persons, not
between parts of persons.

     There  are  many  ways  in  which  persons   may   be
approached with fragmentation;  i.e.,  treating persons as
collections  of  parts with a focus exclusively  upon  the
parts  or  exclusive of some parts,  rather than  entering
into a personal relationship with the whole person.

     We  may  approach  other people as  a  collection  of
fragmented  parts  with  our  personal focus upon:   their
utilitarian value,   profitability,  prestige,  sexuality,
abusability, ego, self esteem,  etc. Such an approach does
not  lead  to an integrative  relationship;   to a healthy
pattern of dialogue, conversation, and intimacy.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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