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  %FIX OBJECT SUBJECT REFLEXIVE ACTION CONTROL PRAY 921117

     Often   addicts   and   codependents   seek   to  fix
their dysfunctional  situations and lives through  actions
which are ESSENTIALLY OBJECTIVE in nature;  when what they
need to  do  is to change their  dysfunctional  situations
and lives through actions which are ESSENTIALLY SUBJECTIVE
AND REFLEXIVE in nature.

     To    some   people   only   essentially    objective
realities are real.    They  discount  the reality  and/or
importance   of  essentially  subjective,   reflexive  and
mysterious  realities which  cannot  be controlled.   They
believe  that being  in control is  important,    and is a
sign of  being worthy of respect,   honor,  and high self-
esteem.   Thus,    they  cannot  regard   what  cannot  be
controlled  as  important and  worthy of   attention   and
respect.   If it cannot be controlled it cannot be a means
to respect,  honor,  and high self-esteem!  If  it  cannot
be used as a means   to  anything,     it  is regarded  as
irrelevant.   Objective realities most readily can be used
and abused as  means.   Objective  realities  most readily
function    as    fixes   which   are   the   foci     for
dysfunctional  efforts of addicts and codependents seeking
to  fix  their  dysfunctional situations and lives.   Some
people avoid focusing their attention upon  the subjective
and  reflexive  considerations  and attitudes  which  must
change,   for  their  lives to heal and become  satisfying
lives of personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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