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   %DANGER SIGN VIOLENT CONCEPT WORD COMBINE SHOULD 920911

     There  are some combinations of words/concepts  which
are  danger  signs  or flags.  We need  to  learn  how  to
recognize  such  word/concept combination  signs/flags  of
danger  if we are to avoid entrapment in  their  dangerous
ways of thinking, feeling and having habitual attitudes.

     Whenever  the  word  "should"  is combined  (with  or
without  the  word "not")  with such  words  as:   "feel",
"want",    "desire",   "emotion",   "fear",    "perceive",
"experience",  "expect" or "regret" --- the combination is
a sign/flag of potential danger.

     Injunctions  that  one  should (or should  not)    be
oneself and know  oneself  as a unique being are  hints of
conditional   acceptance   and  threats   of   conditional
rejection; and so are actions which generate estrangement,
alienation,   dis-trust,  resentment,  negative  feelings,
fear,  anger,  and occasions for violence. In self defense
there are moves toward  deception,  misleading  behaviors,
dishonesty and lying;  all of  which generate personal and
communal disintegration.

     If  one cannot be honest about how one feels,  wants,
desires,  emotes, fears, perceives, experiences,  expects,
or  regrets as a unique being---then   one  is  estranged,
alienated,   distrustful,  resentful,   feeling  negative,
fearful,   angered and primed for violence of one form  or
another.

     It  is best to seek and create ways to think and talk
about  our  unique feelings,  wants,  desires,   emotions,
fears, perceptions, experiences, expectations and  regrets
--- which  do  not  combine the word  "should"    (with or
without the word "not") with words/concepts which point to
aspects of our being ourselves openly,  honestly, and with
personal and communal integrity.  Such injunctions are not
helpful. By seeking  to  avoid such un-helpful injunctions
we   may  learn how to be uniquely ourselves,   whole  and
healthy with both personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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