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   %CONFLICT FOCUS WAY RESENT ANGER ATTACH VIOLENCE 920720

     We  often let ourselves get trapped in a double  bind
way  of  life in which the focus of our attention  is  the
violence  which  others  have inflicted upon us;   and  in
resentment  and  anger  we inflict violence upon  them  in
turn.  Others often let themselves get trapped in a double
bind way of life in which the  focus of their attention is
the  violence which we have  inflicted  upon them,  and in
resentment  and anger they inflict  violence  upon  us  in
turn.  We are trapped in the focus upon violence together.
We cooperate in continuing the violence. If we and/or they
were  to decide to detach from  the  way  of violence,  it
could come to an end  through  a  gradual healing process;
and future generations would not remember with  resentment
the past violence, and would not perpetuate it.

     To   transcend  our  way  of  violence,   anger   and
resentment  we  must  detach  from  it.   It  is  not   an
integrative  way of life.  In it people are not  fulfilled
with  joy.   In  the  way of  violence  people  and  their
communities disintegrate.  Continuing the way of  violence
does not fix the past or make way for a better future.  We
cannot  fix the past through violence which is  expressive
of the anger,  resentment  and wish for revenge engendered
through past violence.  The more violence that there is to
remember,  and  the more violence which is  remembered  in
resentment;   the  more violence is initiated.   When  any
reality  grows  in  proportion to how great  it  is,   the
reality  grows  exponentially  until the context  for  the
growth of the reality is destroyed by the growth.  Violent
people   destroy  themselves,   each  other,   and   their
communities.   It  is now possible for violent  people  to
totally destroy the  fragile  environment  on  tiny planet
earth; then violence will come to an end!

     There are a multitude of forms of violence.  Each may
in turn lead to any of the other forms of violence.  It is
not  enough  to  refrain  from some  particular  forms  of
violence;   for  to engage in any form of violence  is  an
invitation  to  the victims to respond in other  forms  of
violence, and so to widen the scope of violence.

     The  dilemma  of  dealing  with  violence  is  not  a
technical problem.  Technocrats cannot invent now forms of
violence  through  which to transcend the other  forms  of
violence.   Increased violence will not help us  transcend
violence.   Violence and the threat of violence is  not  a
means to controlling the violence of other violent people;
for  people  cannot  be controlled through  any  technical
means  of any kind.  Only the appearance of control can be
achieved,   and that only temporarily through the means of
collusive games of mutual self deception.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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