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   %VISION REALITY DREAM DESIRE ASK REQUEST CONTROL 911011

     Our  visions  often  move  us to try  to  change  the
reality which we experience.  We dream of better days  and
circumstances for ourselves and for others who are dear to
us. We desire to have our needs fulfilled.

     We may want to be in control of our reality,  seeking
to  turn  our  visions  and dreams  into  reality  through
acquisition of the power to control the course of  events.
Such acquisitive wants are likely to be frustrated because
they   often   correspond  to  visions  which  cannot   be
fulfilled.   Visions  of control are frustrating  visions,
because  such  visions  do not  correspond  to  meaningful
realities in the realms of the possible. Other people also
have such visions;  and for their visions to be  fulfilled
they would have to be in control of us,  and in control of
our  visions.   Visions of being in control cannot all  be
fulfilled;   and  so  essentially  none  of  them  can  be
fulfilled.

     It  is  difficult  to  authentically  ask  for  other
people's  cooperation  and  gifts;   for to do  so  is  to
acknowledge   our  inability  to  control  others  and  to
acknowledge  their  right  and  power  to  turn  down  our
request.   If they are not authentically free to turn down
our  request;   then it is meaningless to us for  them  to
grant   our  request.   For  human  relationships  to   be
meaningful they must be free of coercion and violence.  We
cannot  meaningfully fulfill our visions through  coercion
and violence.  We deceive ourselves and each other when we
pretend otherwise.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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