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     %SIGNIFICANCE MEANING DIFFERENCE POWER CONTROL 910819

     Humans  feel  a  desperate need to  be  significance,
be   meaningful,      make   a   difference.     It     is
ultimately  unacceptable  to feel  totally  insignificant,
meaningless, helpless.

     Many people seek  to be in control  in  the manner of
addicts and  codependents.    To  be in full control is to
make  a significant difference. The president, CEO,  boss,
etc.  are significant because they are in control; or seem
to be.

     We   find  it  impossible  to  deal   honestly   with
situations  in  which we are totally helpless,   impotent,
unable  to  make  a  difference;    for   such  situations
threaten our  sense  of being  able  to be significant and
meaningful by making   a  difference.    If we are totally
helpless and impotent  how can we be significant?

     When   we   are  in  reality  totally  helpless   and
impotent   we  enter  into collusive games of mutual  self
deception (often with the help of religious leaders)   and
deny that we  are totally  helpless and impotent;  and pay
a great price   in the process.  We invent the notion that
we have and do make a difference,   but in a negative way.
We pretend that  the  bad   things which happen  to us are
because we have made  a negative difference; are guilty of
breaking  taboos,   divine laws,    etc.    We  prefer  to
believe  that we  have  make  a negative difference,   are
guilty,   are  at fault;  rather than be honest about  our
impotence and helplessness.

     Humans  find  it  exceedingly difficult  to be honest
about  their  fundamental  limitations in time,     space,
power,  knowledge,   wisdom,  understanding;   limitations
on  being  able  to  make  a difference.   Humans   prefer
dishonestly  feeling  guilty  and  ashamed  over  honestly
feeling  helpless and impotent.

     In principle there  is  some hope  that  guilt can be
forgiven  and overcome.  But what honest hope can there be
that  human  limitations can be transcended?   It  appears
that there  is more  hope in dishonestly choosing to  feel
guilty than  in honestly  feeling impotent.   For  further
thoughts  see   the book "Adam,  Eve and the Serpent"   by
Elaine Pagels.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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