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   %FEAR DISCOVERY IMPOSTOR DISHONESTY ILLEGAL LOVE 910508

     Love  is undermined by fear when lives are  dominated
by  fear   of   being  discovered  as  being  engaged   in
illegal,  immoral or unethical activity;  being dishonest,
deceptive,  misleading;  or being an impostor.   Each fear
is  at  root a fear  of  being discovered as  lacking  the
real  integrity which one yearns for,  but does not enjoy.
Each  fear is at root   a   fear of being  discovered  for
being  what   one really  is;    yet what one most  yearns
for is to be  fully oneself and be fully accepted when one
is fully discovered as what one really is.

     Fear of being discovered is disintegrative.  What  we
fear  is that we will be discovered as lacking  integrity.
The fear of being discovered as lacking integrity leads to
further  disintegration.   It is a strange and tragic loop
of  disintegrative processes;  which cannot  be  broken by
means of technical problem solving procedures.    Emotions
such as fear are not technical problems.   We cannot solve
fear  or  anxiety,  as we can solve  a  problem.   We  are
dishonest  when  we  try to treat  emotions  as  technical
problems.   Technocrats fear being discovered as unable to
solve  emotions,   because at heart technocrats know  that
they are not being honest about emotions, and fear to have
their dishonesty discovered.

     We  need  to learn to  distinguish  between  dilemmas
which confront  us,  with the associated issues of how  to
respond  personally    to   them  with  integrity;     and
problems   which  confront  us,     with   the  associated
issues    of   how  to manipulate  things  effectively  to
achieve  some    technical goal.      If  we  confuse  the
two   different  kinds  of situations  with  each   other,
we   are   bound  to  lack integrity in our  responses  to
them.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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