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    %SUPPORT GROUP TALK SPEECH SILENCE TABOO AFFIRM 910402

     Many  children  and  adults  are  victims  of  active
and/or  passive  abuse  of their constitutional right   to
express  openly  and  honestly  their  true   experiences,
perceptions, emotions and convictions.

     Many families,  schools,  work-places and professions
enforce rules of silence; taboos which forbid honest talk,
speech  or   other  expressions   pertaining   to   topics
which  are forbidden  under  the rules of their  collusive
games   of mutual self deception.   The lives and ways  of
addicts  and codependents  involve the enforcement of such
inhibitions of honest expressions.  To  recover from being
the victim of such inhibitions requires  the experience of
being  accepted in groups of people who  are demonstrating
their freedom to transcend  the  role   of victim  of such
inhibitions,     by openly   and  honestly  expressing  in
communal  settings  what has  formerly  been impossible to
express.    Healthy and full recovery  entails honest  and
charitable  demonstrations   of the  freedom   to  express
what  was  formerly  impossible  to  express.   Thus  full
recovery requires free participation in a support group of
some form; formal or informal.

     Recovery   from   dishonest  abuse  is  not  just   a
cognitive,  intellectual and rational process.  It is also
an  affective  process.    In  the  absence  of  affective
affirmations    by   healthy     people     of     healthy
expressions     of     unique   experiences,     feelings,
perceptions  and  convictions---there is  only  incomplete
recovery.

     There are some  occasions  in  which  to tell someone
something which  is true,  will most likely be experienced
as   being coercive;    because the  fact  of telling  the
truth in  that context  will carry significance beyond the
truth   which  is  told.     In   such   situations    and
contexts,    it  is  the implications  of deciding to tell
the particular truth  in that   particular   context---and
doing   it---which   is significant.

     It  is true  that in some situations it  is unkind to
decide  to   tell   a  particular truth.    The  value  of
honesty  can depend  upon the context of the honesty.   It
is  not always wise  or  helpful  to  tell  a   particular
truth   without consideration being given to the  possible
significance    to   other   persons   of    telling   the
particular  truth  in  the particular  context.   This can
be  the  case  in both  public and   private   situations.
Unfortunate interpretations  if truth-telling may be  less
likely  between  intimate  friends,   but   even   between
intimate  friends  there needs to be  care taken   to   be
considerate   of   the  contexts   in    which  particular
truths are shared.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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