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        %ADULT CHILD RECOVER DIFFICULTY KINDS STEPS 910305

     It  is  important  to recognize the  reasons  for  it
being  difficult   for  adult  children  of  dysfunctional
families  to  transcend    the    dysfunctional    lessons
which      they   internalized   as  children   in   their
dysfunctional   families  of origin.  In the light  of  an
adult understanding of those lessons,   it may be possible
to take appropriate steps  to recover from those  lessons,
and so to avoid passing  them on to the next generation in
passively or actively abusive ways.  There are a number of
levels  of recovery,  related to the various  reasons  for
recovery being difficult.

(1) Recognizing that parents had limitations and failures,

(2) Intellectually acknowledging that fact.

(3) Emotionally acknowledging that fact.

(4) Grieving the lost opportunities of childhood.

(5)   Un-learning  the dysfunctional  lessons  learned  in
childhood.

(6) Recognizing why it is difficult to carry out the above
steps.

(7)    Recognizing  what  steps  may  be  taken  to  avoid
transmitting   the  dysfunctional  lessons  to  the   next
generation.

(8) Facilitating the taking of such steps.

(9) Actually taking such steps.

(10)   Evaluating the above efforts to facilitate  further
learning and integration.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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