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    %PARENT PROTECT CHILD DANGER RISK MISTAKE TRUTH 910217

     Parents need to protect infants from various  dangers
and risks, yet parenting involves helping children to grow
in  their  ability  to  assess risks by themselves and  to
learn from their own mistakes by dealing with truths about
themselves openly and honestly.

     Excessive protection of children from risks, mistakes
and  truths  stunts their growth and debilitates  them  so
that  as adults they cannot take meaningful risks,  cannot
learn  from  their  own  mistakes  and  cannot  deal  with
embarrassing truths about themselves.

     Parents need to support their children's ventures  in
prudent  risk taking,  thoughtful learning from  their own
mistakes,   and honestly facing embarrassing truths  about
themselves. Support entails unconditional availability for
listening   and  dialogue,   not  conditional  rescue  and
protection  from consequences of their mistakes.   Support
entails   affection   and  sympathetic   listening;    not
necessarily  permission,  approval,  and praise  or  other
invasions  of independence.  Support does not involve  the
encouragement of dependency.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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