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%DESIRE SEEK MUTUAL VULNERABILITY SECURITY RELATION 901116

Our  personal relationships are more likely to be  healthy
and  we  are  more  likely to  be  healthy,   if  we  seek
relationships of mutual vulnerability and security,   than
if we seek to achieve security through invulnerability.

If  we  approach each other seeking to identify points  of
vulnerability  which  we can take advantage of,   then  we
become mutually defensive and suspicious. The tensions and
conflicts  which  result  undermine  our  health.   It  is
unhealthy to try to take advantage of each other.

If  we expect to achieve security through  invulnerability
we approach each other with a confused set of concepts and
we cannot see each  other  clearly;   our  perceptions are
confused  by our confused concepts.  Real security is  the
freedom   to  know  each  other  openly  and  honestly  in
relationships  of mutual vulnerability.  False security is
dishonest and unstable; not worthy of our respect, desire,
or seeking.

We  need to seek personal relationships of  mutual  desire
for mutual vulnerability and mutual security; in which our
fulfillment  comes  from  our  being  together  in  mutual
cooperation,   not  from being competitive  in  calculated
moves which are offensive and alienative, because they are
motivated by mutual defensive fears.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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