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  %RESPOND CONFLICT PRETEND EXIST WIN RESOLVE FIGHT 901109

When  conflicts  are  present in  our  inter-personal  and
inter-group   relationships,   from  intimate  one-on-one-
relationships to inter-national relationships, there are a
variety  of ways in which we may respond.  The quality  of
our lives and deaths depends upon how we respond.

We may pretend that the conflicts do not exist and  refuse
to deal with them in any conscious or thoughtful way.   We
then  participate  in  collusive  games  of  mutual   self
deception   and  play  the  roles  of  addicts  and  their
supportive codependents.

We  may  in  unhealthy ways go  on  the  offensive  and/or
defensive,  and deal with the conflicts through efforts to
win;   by offensive moves and/or seek to achieve  security
through defensive moves. Our response to the conflicts may
thus  be  dominated  by technical  efforts,   manipulative
techniques,  technology, experts and technocrats.  We thus
participate  in  addictions  to  manipulative  techniques,
technologies and technocrats.

We  may in healthy ways seek to understand the people  who
are  involved in our conflict as fellow human beings  with
their  own unique histories,  values,  ideals,  fears  and
aspirations.  We may seek to resolve our conflicts in ways
which  minimize  future conflict,  misunderstanding,   and
violence.

What ways we choose to follow and what we choose to do  in
response to our conflicts will make tremendous differences
in the quality of our future lives and deaths.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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