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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9007281.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICT LACK POWER CONTROL ACCOUNTABLE RESPONSIBLE 900728 Subtle differences between what words point to may often play important roles in distinguishing between the attitudes of unhealthy addicts/codependents on the one hand, and the attitudes of healthy people on the other hand. Addicts/codependents are preoccupied with issues of control, wanting to be more in control they can be; yet justifying many of their failures in terms which amount to saying that they lack the power to make the necessary difference between success and failure. They often feel that because they lack the power to make the necessary difference they should not be held accountable, not be asked to be responsible for (not be asked to make honest responses regarding) their decisions and actions. Yet they continue to be preoccupied with issues of control, and with attempts to be in control of processes which no one can control. It is important to see clearly the difference between the power to influence the course of events, and the power to control the course of events. If we do not clearly see the difference, we cannot make a realistic appraisal of our record of success and failure; for we may judge ourselves severely for failing to succeed in controlling what we could not possibly control. We may also excuse ourselves for failing to influence the course of events where we could have made a significant difference--- because we may believe that there is no real difference between our failure to control what cannot be controlled, and our failure to influence what we could influence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================