This is http://www.essayz.com/a9005122.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
%ROMANCE ADDICTION IDEALISM VISION ENVIRONMENT LOVE 900512

     Romance has  to  do with idealistic  visions  of   an
environment  which is more suitable to simple  fulfillment
than  is the real world.   Romance has to do with enjoying
fulfillment  because of the idealistic environment  rather
than  because of the integrity with which one responds  to
the people in  environment.   Romance has to do with being
the  beneficiary  of  an environment  conducive to being a
fulfilled person without much effort,  pain,    ambiguity,
paradox or challenging mystery.

     Romance is made for people who like to  pretend   and
engage  in pretense.   Romance is made for  idealists  and
perfectionists.  Romance is made for people who expect the
world to meet their needs.  In its perverted extreme forms
romance  is  for  addicts and codependents who  have  lost
touch  with  the  real world of honest dialogue about real
personal experiences which are often painful, challenging,
embarrassing,   paradoxical,  ambiguous  and unexpected in
ways beyond control.

     Some addicts seek to get their fixes,  their   highs,
their fulfillment in romantic settings;  often constructed
at great expense  with real money and/or in isolation from
the  real  world.   The  disease  of  romance addiction is
progressive  like  all  forms of addiction;   driving  the
victims to greater and greater lengths to get the level of
satisfaction  which came more easily in the past.     This
puts greater and greater strain on supportive codependents
who find some advantage in encouraging the romantic addict
in his/her ventures into romanticism.

     Addictive  romanticism  is addictive in  the  way  it
leads its victims into progressively more extreme forms of
detachment from reality in pretentious living,  unbalanced
life   styles,   the  erosion  of  personal  and  communal
integrity,  and progressive games of mutual self deception
regarding  what  real  living is.   The  more  a  person's
romanticism  gets in the way of balanced  healthy  living,
the more clearly it is a form of addictive romanticism.

     Addictive romanticism begins when the romantic begins
to  be  unable  to tell the  difference  between  romantic
visions,   and healthy living which balances  the  various
aspects   of  a  whole life through dialogue  with various
kinds of people. The romantic addict compulsively seeks to
find  the  ideal context, and disintegrates in the search.
The  healthy person is honestly responsive to the  present
context,   and integrates elements of it in  healthy  ways
which  promote  personal  and  communal  integrity.    The
disintegration  and integration grow exponentially in each
case.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================