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%MEANING INTIMACY ADDICT OWN OTHER FEMALE SEX RIGHT 900402

     Often   the  addict  misinterprets  the  meaning   of
intimacy,   thinking that being willing to be intimate  on
the   part  of  the  female  means  being  willing  to  be
subservient.   Under this assumption the willing female is
willing  to  be  owned  by the  dominant  male;   and  the
relationship of ownership and dominance is to be  publicly
acknowledged by the marriage ceremony.

     If  people  entering into intimate relationships  are
not  careful to be themselves in open and honest  dialogue
about   their  respective  assumptions,   they  may   find
themselves  involved in conflicting relationships  because
of unrecognized incongruent assumptions.   It is important
to  come  to a mutual recognition  of  each  participant's
assumptions regarding intimacy, privacy, self-care, caring
for other, independence, dependence, interdependence, etc.
If  convictions  in  regard  to these  elements  of  human
relationships are strong and incongruent,  it is futile to
pretend  that  a meaningful integrative  relationships  is
possible.   Such pretentious relationships lead to  tragic
consequences;  they tend to be addictive and  codependent,
full of collusive games of mutual self deception.

An  integrative  marriage  ceremony  will  help  the
couple and their community begin the marriage relationship
with  a  clear mutual understanding of the  attitudes  and
belief  which  are  sound foundations for  a  healthy  and
enduring relationship.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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