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  %ESSENTIAL ROLE HEALTHY SEXUALITY LIVES INTEGRITY 900308

     Affirmations  of  the essential roles  which  healthy
expressions  of  sexuality play in integrative lives,  are
bound  to encounter collusive attempts to deny the  truths
which  healthy  expressions  of  sexuality  are  bound  to
reveal.

     To survive, each collusion must deny all truths which
may reveal the lack of integrity in the   pseudo-truths of
collusions.   It is the ultimate duty of those persons who
are imprisoned  in  the service of each collusion  to make
ultimate  sacrifices  in  their  attempts  to  prevent the
revelation of truths which would destroy the collusion.

     Such  ultimate  sacrifices  include  behaviors  which
induce   and  perpetuate  extreme  forms  of   alienation,
estrangement, misunderstanding, confusion, and attempts to
be in control of all such distresses.  Such behaviors deny
the essential dilemmas,  paradoxes, mysteries,  joys,  and
integrities of healthy living;  because they all  threaten
each  collusion  which  depends  in essential  ways   upon
misleading and dishonest behavior to survive.

     Healthy sexual living involves in essential ways many
dilemmas,   paradoxes,   mysteries,  joys and  integrative
activities;   and so threaten each collusion which depends
in  essential ways upon misleading and dishonest  behavior
patterns  to  survive.   The dilemma of  sexually  healthy
people  is  to  find ways to confront  the  dishonesty  of
people who are imprisoned in collusive patterns of living,
without thereby making it more difficult for them to  move
towards   personal  and  communal  integrity.    Coercive,
manipulative,  and violent confrontations will not resolve
the  conflict  between  healthy  sexuality  and  collusive
denials  of  the essential roles which  healthy  sexuality
plays  in the lives of individuals and  communities  which
enjoy healthy sexual relationships.

     These   considerations  play  central  roles  in  all
healthy  efforts  to  deal in integrative  ways  with  the
dilemmas  of:   real  love,    sexual  education,    birth
control,   contraception,    sin,   death  control,    sex
control,     life  control,     prostitution,    abortion,
sexually   transmitted diseases,    sexual  discrimination
of all  forms,   sexual addiction and codependence,  human
limitations,     divisive  collusions   and   dichotomies,
addictive   personalities,  militarism,     dictatorships,
arms    races,     political corruption,    technocracies,
military/industrial complexes,  etc.     Collusive efforts
to confuse the intimate ways  in which   these   are   all
inter-related    are   profoundly disintegrative in  their
consequences.   No collusion could survive  in the face of
clear  understandings of how  these inter-relate;   so all
collusions work to maintain the confusion.

     None of these dilemmas are objective in character and
none of them can be controlled by objective considerations
and procedures.   The scientific paradigm does not offer a
comprehensive way of solving the problems associated  with
these  dilemmas.    The problems cannot be solved  in  any
significant  way in the absence of wisely coping with  the
dilemmas.   The essence of wisely coping with the dilemmas
is  not to be found in the techniques,  technologies,   or
technicians  who  are  dedicated to solving  the  problems
associated with the dilemmas;  nor in any research efforts
which  might  lead to the conception of  such  techniques,
technologies and technicians.

     The essence of wisely coping with the dilemmas may be
found  in a profound dedication to be open and  honest  in
intimate  relationships  which  are bound to  have  sexual
overtones.    Honesty which always avoids sexual overtones
is   the  pseudo-honesty  of  collusive,   addictive   and
codependent  processes.   The dilemmas come full circle in
essentially  reflexive  ways,   because  they  all  entail
essentially   reflexive  relationships  which  cannot   be
understood or controlled in essentially objective ways.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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