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   %PATERNAL EXCESSIVE ASSISTANCE HELP LOVE SUPPORT 900227

     Excessive  assistance  tells  the recipients  of  the
assistance  that  they are not competent and  cannot  take
care  of themselves.  Excessive assistance discourages the
recipients from engaging in any efforts they may otherwise
be inclined to make to take proper care of themselves.

     Excessively   helpful  parents,   teachers,    social
workers, etc.  seek to fulfill their own needs by how they
help others;  not by how they honestly enter into balanced
relationships with other people.

     To   excessively   helpful  people   their   personal
relationships are opportunities to earn goodness points by
being  of  service;   relationships are used  for  earning
goodness points, not enjoyed in mutual presence.

     Codependents    are   forever   offering    excessive
assistance  to  addicts  in ways which  keep  the  addicts
forever  dependent upon the helpers who forever need to be
needed.  Not all servants serve with authentic love.  Some
servants imprison others with their excessive service.  It
is  difficult for such people to escape from each  others'
needs and services.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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