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 %SECURE SELF ESTEEM SALVATION SUCCESS SERVE ADDICT 900122

     If we lack a healthy self esteem and seek to  achieve
salvation  through  sacrificial service we are  likely  to
become trapped in addictive codependent relationships.

     If   our  salvation  seems  to  us  to  depend   upon
sacrificial service to others,  we are likely to seek  out
people  whom we think need our service.  At the same  time
addictive  people who do not cope honestly with their  own
problems and responsibilities are likely to recognize  our
willingness  to be of unlimited service to others as a way
to try to save ourselves.  Addicts will oblige and provide
us  with unlimited opportunities to be of service to them.
They  seek  out people who are trying to  save  themselves
through  service,  and attach themselves to such imprudent
servants;   for  they are likely to be foolishly  faithful
servants.

     The  problem  of the foolishly faithful  servants  is
that  addicts  do  not  often  provide  opportunities  for
successful honest service.  Addicts want dishonest service
which  does  not  confront  their  dishonesty,   and  they
manipulate their servants into dishonest relationships and
dishonest  service.   They threaten servants who  confront
them  honestly;   but  people of low self esteem  are  not
likely to try to confront addicts' dishonesty, unless they
really understand addiction and what it is at its heart.

     The  codependent  who  is seeking  salvation  through
service  to addicts is in hell.  Serving addicts on  their
terms  is  dishonest  service and we  cannot  achieve  our
salvation  through  it;  for so long as it  is  dishonest,
service  does not succeed.  Even more fundamentally,   the
nature of salvation is such that we cannot achieve it  for
ourselves through our own efforts to save ourselves by any
means.   Meaningful salvation is enjoyed by people engaged
in  cooperative  communal  service  which  is  honest  and
promotes both personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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