This is http://www.essayz.com/a8912191.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %BLOCK LEARNING MISTAKE REJECT PERSON BEHAVIOR 891219 People as persons are often rejected for making a mistake; rejected in the sense that dialogue with them is reduced by the others who are disturbed by the mistake, perhaps even if the others were not directly harmed or threatened by it. Personal rejection tends to significantly block helpful learning, not facilitate helpful learning. People who are rejected because of some particular behavior are likely to have aversive reactions to giving the particular behavior further consideration of any kind. By avoiding further consideration of the cause of the personal rejection they inhibit learning related to the behavior. To helpfully learn from our mistakes we must consider the consequences of our mistakes; consequences for which we are properly responsible, not the consequences for which others are properly responsible. We should not be held responsible for the consequences of other people's choices, even though their choices may have been influenced in some way by our behavior. Rejecting people for our behavior which was triggered by their behavior only confuses issues and does not promote helpful learning. It is not helpful for others to reject us for their behavior which was triggered by our own behavior; e.g., if through prejudice they acted violently "because of" our behavior. Responsibility has to do with being responsive regarding, not with being ready to accept blame and guilt. Responsible people are responsive, are in dialogue regarding the consequences of their decisions and actions. People cannot be responsible people if we reduce dialogue with them because of their decisions and actions. To encourage people to stay responsible with regards to their mistakes we need to continue to be in dialogue with them regarding their mistakes; i.e., keep open the channels of communication when mistakes are made, especially if the mistakes are tragic. We are led to make tragic mistakes by misleading ideals, values, goals, assumptions, etc. To minimize future tragic mistakes we need to be in responsive dialogue regarding our recent tragic mistakes. Such dialogue is inhibited by rejections which are triggered by the misleading notion that rejections will inhibit mistaken behavior. Personal rejections encourage mistaken behavior. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================