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 %ACCEPT REJECT CHANGE PEOPLE IDEAS IDEALS ATTITUDE 891023

     Our   level   of  satisfaction  or   frustration   is
intimately  related  to  the nature  of  our  patterns  of
acceptance   or  rejection  of  people,   ideas,   ideals,
attitudes, habits, situations, etc.

     We differ from each other as regards the focus of our
acceptance  and/or rejection.  If people are the focus  of
our acceptance and/or rejection, we lead one sort of life.
If  ideas,   ideals  and attitudes are  the  foci  of  our
acceptance and/or rejection, we lead another sort of life.

     We  also  differ in regards to the bases  we  use  as
grounds for acceptance/rejection.  The bases may be static
or dynamic. They may be legalistic or charitable. They may
be formal or informal, personal or impersonal, etc.

     We  may differ in regards how willing we will  be  to
change   ourselves,    and   how  much   we   expect   all
accommodations  to be made by others.  We may be unwilling
to change ourselves and eager to change other people  over
whom  we have no power of control.  In such a case we  are
likely  to  be very frustrated and be  imprisoned  in  our
frustration,   because  we  are unwilling  to  change  the
attitudes  which  repeatedly  lead  us  into   frustrating
relationships.

     We  may  be frustrated by conditions around us  which
are  of our own making through action or inaction.  Others
may be powerless to change the conditions around us  which
are of our own making through our action or inaction.   If
we  assume it is the responsibility of others to make  the
accommodations   which   we   think   would   reduce   our
frustration, we imprison ourselves through our assumption,
and  lock  the door of our prison by  being  unwilling  to
examine  the possibility that what needs to be changed  is
ours:  i.e.; our assumptions, ideals, ideas, attitudes and
habits of mind and heart.

     When  we  are frustrated we need to examine  our  own
ideas,  ideals, values, assumptions, expectations, etc. to
see what there may be about us which we have the power  to
change (and nobody else has the power to change)  which we
would  do well to change for our own sake.  We need to  be
responsible for changing what only we can change;  and let
go,   and let others be responsible for changing what only
they  can change.  Only then we can cooperate in  changing
what  only  we  can change  together  through  cooperative
efforts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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