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   %JESUS CHRIST SERVANT MARTYR SACRIFICE INTEGRITY 891020

     Christians  need  to  be careful how  they  interpret
Jesus' call to sacrificial service as his disciples.

     The example of Jesus' giving his life to save sinners
from  their sins is tempting to codependents.   Those  who
seek  to  follow the example in naive ways  may  sacrifice
their own integrity in futile efforts to save the lives of
addicts  who  refuse  to be honest and  learn  from  their
mistakes.  Many self sacrificing codependent servants have
illustrated   over  and  over  that  such  a   sacrificial
technique  does  not  work.  The  dishonest  technique  is
dishonest  and  confirms  the dishonest sinners  in  their
sins.

     It is futile to believe that dishonest self sacrifice
will  save  anybody from their sins.  Sin has to  do  with
alienation.    Dishonesty  has  to  do  with   alienation.
Alienative  self sacrifice will not help anybody transcend
their alienation.

     Whenever a codependent dishonestly sacrifices self in
the  service of a manipulative dishonest addict,  each  is
encouraging  the  other to be  alienated  through  selfish
dishonesty. Thus does sin abound.

     The dishonesty of codependents'  service to dishonest
addicts   is  a  self-serving  dishonesty  in  each  case.
Dishonesty  lacks  integrity  and leads  to  personal  and
communal disintegration. Dishonest people are not servants
in  the style of Jesus of Nazareth:  who said he  was  the
truth,the  way and the life.  Dishonest people  manipulate
and coerce each other in ways utterly uncharacteristic  of
Jesus  of  Nazareth;  they are not his servants,   but  in
tragic  misleading  ways they are each  other's  dishonest
servants.   They are misled by  misleading  disintegrative
ideals and values.

     The   dilemmas of  addicts and codependents  are  not
technical  problems,  but dilemmas having to do with their
misleading  ideals,   values,   priorities,   assumptions,
presuppositions,  attitudes;  their habits of heart,  mind
and behavior. They learned their habits of heart, mind and
behavior from significant others in home, school, and work
settings.   Role  models are powerful even when  they  are
misguided.  We model those closest to us most of the time.
Even in rebellion we tend to be lead by the habits of mind
and heart of those against whom we rebel.  If we cannot be
honest about such matters little else will matter.

     For the Christian Churches to stop encouraging  their
members,   addicts  in  their  addictive  behaviors;   the
Churches must clarify their doctrines,  teachings,  hymns,
and  Sunday  School  lessons so that  Christians  will  be
skilled  in recognizing the difference between Honest Love
on the one hand, and Dishonest Codependent Behavior on the
other  hand.   The difference is  the  difference  between
Heaven and Hell!

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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