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      %CLAIM OWN PRIDE ACHIEVE FEAR CHANGE SECURITY 890929

     We  tend to be proud of our achievements in a  static
sense;  i.e.,  we are proud of the place to which we  rise
and  we tend to expect to find satisfaction in staying  in
the place of which we can be proud.  We are often  fearful
of change and seek security by staying in one place.  This
is   so  even  though  in  a  paradoxical  way  we  become
dissatisfied  with  our  status  quo  and  want  a  better
situation,  a better place.  What we usually want is not a
process, not change, but a better place. We usually want a
better static situation, not a better dynamic situation in
which change is an essential part of the situation.

     We  are rarely proud of how we are  changing  because
others  tend  to expect us to be some prescribed  kind  of
person   who  is  inherently  static.   Expectations   and
conformity  tend to pertain to continuing to be a  certain
kind of static person. Change threatens people who approve
of conformal living.

     Rarely  are  we  affirmed for the fact  that  we  are
changing,   for  it is more difficult for a  community  to
control  a  process of change,  than for  a  community  to
control  a  static  pattern of  conformity  to  unchanging
expectations.  A  process of change may get out of control
and  threaten  people who live in terms of  conformity  to
unchanging  expectations.  Change threatens the  power  of
people  who  feel that they must be in control  in  secure
unchanging patterns.

     Change threatens people who feel that they must be in
control  of either themselves or others.  People who  seek
security  through control are more comfortable with static
patterns   of  control  than  with  dynamic  balance   and
stability.

     Because  of  these considerations people  will  often
resist  creative change and will remain in  unsatisfactory
situations.   People  will repeat mistakes over  and  over
because  they  fear the change which would be involved  in
changing  their  attitudes,   values and ideals  to  avoid
making  the same mistakes over and over.  Mistakes may not
be recognized as the cause of pain,  in fear,  that change
may  be  required to reduce the pain.  Fear of change  can
paralyze people and force them to stay in painful patterns
of repeating mistakes.

     Children   need   to   be  taught  by   example   and
encouragement to take pride in prudent patterns of change,
to  feel  secure  in  fail-safe  contexts  with   communal
integrity.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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