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   %OPEN COVERT SECRET COLLUSIVE AFFIRMATION DENIAL 890910

     Often the messages which are most important to us are
conveyed in covert and secret ways,  rather than in  overt
and  open ways.  Often the important covert  messages  are
denials of the explicit and open messages. This process is
not  overtly  explained  or agreed upon;  the  process  is
itself  a covert and secret process which it is  taboo  to
analyze and discuss.  The process is part of the collusive
games  of denial and mutual self deception which  we  play
because  due  to the game we cannot bear to  authentically
share our beliefs, convictions, perceptions, relationships
and  other non-objective realities with each other  openly
and  honestly.  We cannot own them as our own.  We  cannot
share them as our own.  We pretend that they are not ours.
We do not claim them.

     Often,  however, by covert secret messages we  affirm
beliefs  which  are not our own,  while at the  same  time
pretending to convey openly and honestly what are in  fact
our  own  beliefs.  At the same time that  we  are  openly
conveying  our  own beliefs in what may appear to be  open
and  honest  discourse,   we  convey  our  more  important
messages  of denial and contradiction through  covert  and
secret ways which involve threat and coercion.  The  whole
process  is  very confusing to us and to others,   yet  we
persist in the process because it is demanded by the rules
of our collusive games of mutual self deception.

     So  long as our most important and powerful  messages
are  conveyed covertly and secretly,  we lack personal and
communal   integrity   and   are   in   the   process   of
disintegration.   It  is important to find ways to  become
free  to convey our most important and  powerful  messages
with both personal and communal integrity.  How that is to
be done is not entirely clear to us when we are engaged in
covert   and   secret  communications   of   contradictory
messages.   Yet,   if we seek the truth,  which is in  us,
eventually through it we can become free.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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