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  %OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVE REFLEXIVE PERSONAL TOUCHING 890701

     It is virtually impossible for human touching to be a
purely  objective  action.   Thus it  cannot  properly  be
understood  through  participation in just  the  objective
paradigm  of analysis.  Touching may be understood through
an   existential   consideration   of   its   roots    and
significance.

     People who are compulsively trying to be objective at
all  times are likely to avoid human touching,  for  human
touching  is likely to undermine their collusive  pretense
that it is possible to be objective all the time. To touch
such a person is a threat to their collusion, and thus not
a  purely objective action;  similarly for them  to  touch
anybody else.

     There is symbolic significance in all human touching;
even in touching which is intended to avoid  significance,
for  there  is human significance in the attempt to  avoid
significance.

     Medical professionals and physical-care professionals
learn how to touch in ways which avoid conveying unwelcome
personal meanings in touching;  and thereby their touching
has professional significance, it signifies a professional
attitude  and  approach which is more  acceptable  in  its
context,   than  would be an  unwelcome  personal  advance
towards personal intimacy.

     Alienated   people  often  touch  through   violence,
because they do not know how to be tender in touching, and
are threatened by tender touching.  The physical  touching
of physical combat points to the personal alienation which
leads  to  such touching.  Physical violence has  its  own
roots, meaning and significance.

     The  human  touching of friendly handshakes and  hugs
has  its own significance which affirms the  presence  and
integrity  of the other who is touched.  In such  touching
there  is a non-judgmental acceptance and  affirmation  of
human   fellowship   as  physical  creatures  in   similar
circumstances of human finitude.

     Some  touching points to efforts to  manipulate  each
other  for  personal advantage or for the advantage  of  a
coercive purpose or cause,  which may be motivated by high
ideals.   Such  touching lacks integrity,   and  is  often
experienced as threatening and offensive, even though at a
subconscious level which is not articulated verbally.

     Other touching has integrity.   Authentic touching is
an expression of affection without manipulative desire  or
intent.   Authentic touching does not take advantage of  a
person's vulnerability.  Authentic touching gives security
in  the  presence  of vulnerability,  and  so  elicits  no
defensive response.

     Authentic  touching is common in healthy living;  but
is absent from addictive,  collusive,  manipulative,   and
coercive living.  Authentic touching entails vulnerability
made  meaningful through the gift of security.   Authentic
touching is not understandable to people who are defensive
because they have not received the gift of security in the
presence of vulnerability.

     It  is  difficult to be misleading through  touching.
It is difficult tell overt lies through touching,  for the
symbolism  of  touching  does not  yield  to  manipulative
efforts as well as does the symbolism of formal languages.
Attempts to be deceptive through touching expose the would
be  deceiver  as  much  as the attempts  may  mislead  the
intended  victim.  It is dangerous for deceptive people to
try to use touch as a technique of manipulation, for human
instinct  can  tell the difference between  authentic  and
deceptive touching.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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