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 %ROOT PERSONAL COMMUNAL DISINTEGRATION LACK ACCEPT 890504

     Personal  and  communal disintegration are rooted  in
regarding  estrangement  as  an  acceptable  technique  of
personal manipulation.

     The   acceptance   of  the  use  of  deprivation   of
communication  as  a  technique of  personal  manipulation
leads  to the break down of the channels of  communication
which are essential to communal integrity.

     The   experience   of  deprivation   of   integrative
communications  leads to the loss of self-esteem,  and  to
addictive efforts to compensate for the loss by the use of
manipulative techniques to achieve some confused affective
goals.

     It   is  impossible  to  achieve  reconciliation   of
affection  through manipulative techniques;   for  genuine
affection is a gift, not an achievement or payment.

     Distrust  cannot  be transcended through the  use  of
techniques  of personal manipulation,  for such techniques
are   based  upon  continued  estrangement   between   the
manipulator and the victim of manipulation.

     The   person  who  has  been  deprived  of  affective
acceptance  cannot  effectively compensate for  that  lack
through  personal  achievements.   In  fact,   efforts  to
compensate through attempts to achieve affection are bound
to lead to additional alienation,  and so to personal  and
communal disintegration.

     Personal  and  communal integrity thus are rooted  in
unconditional  communal  gifts of affection to  the  young
people   of  the  community.   In  the  absence  of   such
unconditional  gifts there is a tendency for the community
and its members to disintegrate.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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