This is http://www.essayz.com/a8904211.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
   %JACK ACCEPT JILL LACK CONTROL DESIRE EXPERIENCE 890421

     Jack and Jill cannot control themselves or each other
as fully as they have been taught that they should.

     Jack  and Jill have been taught by their  experiences
in  their  community that they are  acceptable  when  they
behave  according to proper expectations,  when  they  are
"good", not "evil".

     "Good"   people  are accepted.   "Evil"   people  are
rejected.  "Good"  people exercise proper control.  "Evil"
people are controlled by "evil" powers which are not under
the control of "good" people.

     God is ultimately "good" and in control of all "good"
people. The power of "evil" and "evil" people are all that
God  is  not in control of,  or so it seems to  many  good
people.

     Jack  and Jill have been taught by "good"  people  to
try to be like God and to be in control of themselves  and
others. They have been taught that they will be acceptable
people who may legitimately have secure self esteem;  when
they achieve such "goodness" through their own efforts.

     Salvation  comes through achieving the proper kind of
control of self and other, or does it? Maybe it does not?

     Now  Jack and Jill have discovered  that  their  life
together  is  good when they accept each other's  lack  of
control  of  self and other.  They  have  discovered  that
"good"   people  are not honest about  the  importance  of
accepting  each other's lack of control of self and other.
Now  they know that "good"  people who do not accept  each
other's lack of control of self and others, are people who
lack integrity;  for they cannot be honest with each other
regarding   their   past   experiences,    their   present
experiences, or their desires and fantasies.

     When  "good"   people try to control  themselves  and
others  through  threats  of rejection for  lack  of  self
control,   they  thereby undermine each other's  power  of
personal integrity.  They thereby motivate collusive games
of   mutual  self  deception,   addictions  and   communal
dependence   upon  codependents  who  foolishly  encourage
addicts to be dependent through manipulative rescues. Such
dishonest   behaviors  entail  much  personal   rejection,
alienation and estrangement.  People are strangers to each
other, and insecure.

     Jack and Jill have discovered that they can give each
other  security in honest intimate relationships in  which
they  accept  each  other's lack of control  of  self  and
others. Through such mutual acceptance of their inevitable
lack of control,  they give each other the security  which
they desire and need,  and have the courage to be creative
in the face of their daily dilemmas.

     Jack and Jill are discovering the nature of Love  and
the  personal  and communal integrity which are rooted  in
their ability to accept each other's lack of control. They
are discovering that "good"  people through their  efforts
to be in control generate much rejection,  alienation, and
disintegration  which are the essence of evil.  Now "Good"
people are not pleased that Jack and Jill are making  such
discoveries  and  are not dedicated to maintaining  proper
control. "Good" people reject Jack and Jill for their lack
of interest in proper self control.

     Now  Jack  and Jill live in Love in  spite  of  their
crucifixions at the hands of "good" people. Daily they are
resurrected  from their crucifixions by Love's  acceptance
of their inability to be in control,  and by each  other's
acceptance and gift of security.

     Through the power of Love Jack and Jill are  learning
to  have  the  courage  to  be  creative  integrators   of
fragmented  lives,   in spite of threats of  rejection  by
those  people  who  are trying  to  control  them  through
manipulative  expectations.   Jack and  Jill  are  putting
personal  and communal integrity ahead of maintaining  the
appearance of fulfilling manipulative expectations.   They
are peace makers and are blessed by Love.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================